Planning a Wedding While One Of You Is In The Military - Navy Edition

Been there, done that! Getting married is one thing. Planning a wedding is a whole nother thing! Normal couples get engaged, plan a wedding for the future, take their time and make sure everything is just right! Its your wedding day, its supposed to be perfect right?

In theory, yes. In reality, not quite.

Now its stressful enough for a normal couple. But for us military folk.....throw in a few years of schooling in a few different states, a deployment or two, not knowing if you can take leave and anything else they might decide to throw at you because after all, you are at their mercy. And that perfect wedding becomes MUCH less attainable. 

We eloped while my husband was in A-School. You can read about that HERE. At that point we had no idea if and/or when we may be able to have a ceremony. We didn't want to plan something and hope he could come home so we just waited to play it by ear. A few months went by and he found out he would graduate just in time to be able to come home for holiday stand down before his next duty station. SO he put in for leave and I started planning. We had about 3 months. Mind you, we didn't know if he leave would actually get approved, there was no reason it shouldn't, but I had to keep that in mind. 

Plan For The Worst:
Make sure when reserving a venue, that they have a military clause or a refund, or at least be able to reschedule. You really never know what can happen. Our venue was so flexible and VERY military friendly. They understood completely that plans can change at the drop of a dime. There was a navy wedding the weekend before ours. The woman from the venue said, the husband graduated from school and was supposed to come home on leave for his wedding but found out he was getting sent out on a deployment instead. Needless to say they had to postpone the wedding and pushed it back an entire year. So, yes, anything can happen.

Ask for a military discount!

Be Flexible:

Now, I was never one of those girls who dreamed about my wedding day. Which I always thought at some point might put me at a disadvantage but it turned out working in my favor. I didn't have any crazy ideas or expectations that I "needed" to have at my wedding. I mean I had "ideas" but nothing was set in stone. If I had it my way, we would have had a simple, small, CASUAL, outdoor wedding/pig roast. With craft beer, home made wine, a live band, volleyball, corn hole and other fun outdoor activities. Okay....so maybe I DID have an idea of what I wanted. haha But lets be honest here. We are from Cleveland, Ohio, we had 3 months before getting new orders which put us at the end of November for the wedding. That outdoor wedding was impossible. So I had to scrap the whole idea and 'want' something else. My small outdoor wedding turned into a not small at all indoor wedding.

Shop Around For Dresses:

I know you probably have your heart set on a certain dress or style of dress but shop around. Try on things that you don't think you'll like.

I wanted a flowy lace dress, found it and stopped trying things on. Went back a few weeks later to buy it after looking around at other places trying to find good prices. And ended up buying a completely different dress and it was on clearance! I didn't even want to try it on. It looks horrible on the rack. But once I got into it, it fit like a glove! I didn't want to take it off.

Be Creative:

Don't do things a certain way just because thats how it's "supposed" to be. Thats all pretty much shot to hell at this point anyway if you're throwing together a wedding in a few months. Some of the best weddings I've been to have been the simple, elegant, laid back ones. 

Pinterest is your best friend! Thanks to all of the wonderful people who post things. People like "us" can throw things together in a relatively short time frame while spending very little money! Then we reciprocate by posting what we did! See how that works?! Try to think of unique ways to save money and still achieve the look/vibe/ambiance that you're looking for. 

Look for seasonal decorations that you can find in nature! Berries, evergreen, wood, leaves, sand, shells, rocks, ferns. I mean the options are really endless. The cost is minimal to you and it looks so good. We used cranberries in our center pieces instead of flowers and saved HUNDREDS of dollars on flowers, probably thousands. My mom's friend, the harp player, also makes wine so she and her husband made us cranberry wine with all of the cranberries after the wedding! Nothing went to waste! :)

Try to find other things that match your "colors" besides store bought flowers. We used pomegranates and apples. They're large enough to take up negative space while providing depth and color. Same with flower peddles that may have fallen off. Keep them and use them! 

My mom made favor bags for us with truffles we bought in bulk from Costco and bags we ordered online. We just printed out stickers and slapped them on the front. My mom added the bow's as a finishing touch.

I popped TONSSS of popcorn the day before and we had a popcorn bar with different seasonings after dinner. I loved this! Probably because I have a sick obsession with home popped popcorn. I did two batches at a time on the stove in 2 big pans for many hours..... haha Its a healthy gluten free snack. 

The Dollar Store, Amazon and Costco/Sams Club Are Your Friends:

All of the tea light candles, the votives we put them in, the vases we used as center pieces, it all came from the dollar store and amazon. We use some of them around the house and you might even be able to sell some of it when you're done. Especially if you know someone else who is getting married or having a party. Ask around, you never know!

All of our plates came from Costco. It wasn't eco friendly but it saved us the money of having to rent the plates from the venue or caterer. 

FLOWERS:

Flowers will make or break you! Yes they're beautiful, they're also expensive! BUT we spent less that $175  on ALL of the flowers for the entire wedding! By not using flowers as center pieces we saved a ton. For the brides maids we used dried hydrangea's from the tree's in front of my parents' house. We got the rest of the flowers at a wholesale flower warehouse...thing. I don't know how else to describe it. My mom and her friend Deb, the harp player. Went really early in the morning on a Saturday. I think they're only open on saturday mornings? But they went, checked off what they wanted, waited in line and they got the flowers. They got a couple dozen red roses with greenery and babies breath and a bouquet of mixed roses. They also got some white lilies with greenery and a few other mixed bouquets. Between those three they put together my bouquet, the boutonnières, and about 3 or 4 extra arrangements to be used as decor wherever needed. 

Be Kind To Your Wedding Party:

If you've been in a wedding (I know I have) you know how ridiculous buying brides maids dresses, tuxes, matching shoes and accessories can be. It gets expensive and not everyone looks good in that bright purple, strapless dress that the bride loves. Chances are they'll have very little notice that they will be in your wedding.

I told my bridesmaids to go buy a tasteful black dress and wear black heels. Gave them a few examples and sent them on their way. If they were going to buy something, I wanted them to at least be able to use it again. 

Groomsmen had it really easy. Wear a grey suit, which most 20 something men should have for job interviews and things of that nature. If they don't they can get a very reasonably priced one. We got the ties so they all matched. I believe I ordered 7 of them online for $42 including shipping. 

Use Your Networks!

Make sure you ask around! You may know people who can help you out immensely, and not even realize it. Venues can be expensive so ask around and think outside the box! 

My mom's friend plays the harp and played for our ceremony. She also has a sister-in-law who is a wedding planner and let us use some of her "wedding stuff" for free! You may know a baker, caterer, or someone who has a meat smoker. (I'm still going on about this pig roast. I REALLY want someone to have a pig roast! haha) I knew a girl from college who is a wonderful photographer. We were never close "friends" more of aquantences. Friends of friends. But I needed a photographer and I loved her work so I reached out. And she is a GEM! The sweetest person and I will keep in touch with her for probably the rest of the foreseeable future. And her photos are incredible! Kayla Coleman Photography. Look her up.

Figure Out What's REALLY Important:

Don't go spending money on all of these things that frankly, don't really matter. Keep it simple and spend your money wisely. Unless you have unlimited funds, then, by all means have at it. But, here in real life, we have budgets. Decide where to spend the money that you have. 

• Do you want a 5-star caterer or a pig roast? (there I go again with the pig)
• $2000 dress or $200 dress? Get lucky enough to find a thrift shop dress? I tried but failed.
• Do you want an expensive venue, or does a friend/family member have a barn, a winery, pond or just a nice house or yard? Maybe there a nearby park? 
• Wedding planner or DIY? 
• Buying decorations or making them? 
• Do you know a photographer or want to look for one to hire?
• Do you want alcohol? What kind? 
• DJ or do you have a friend in a band? (I wanted live music so badly but we just didn't have time)
• Real plates and silver wear or plastic? (We used plastic, it looked real and we tossed it at the end of the night. Got it all at Costco.)

This is my best advice! If you think everything else I say is bullshit at least take this into consideration! If you spend the money anywhere, get a good photographer. And I don't mean an expensive photographer, because you can find some pretty crappy ones that still charge $1,500-$2,000. You can also fine some amazing ones that charge the same or less. Just look around and look at their work. You have to look at those pictures for the rest of your life. 

Have a Sense of Humor and Don't Be a DRAMA Queen:

Things WILL go wrong. Things won't look how you want. People will misconstrue what you're saying. People won't listen to you. People will completely disregard your wishes. GET OVER IT! 

For example: 

• We asked all the grooms men to wear grey suits, and 3 of them went out and rented almost the exact same black tux's when we specifically told them not to. Leaving my husband and my brother sticking out like a sore thumb. But it is what it is. 

• I asked all the brides maids wearing different dresses so they could wear what looked best for their own bodies and no one would stand out. 2 of them bought the same dress . Again, it is, what it is.

• Some people wanted to do everything (sometimes too much) and others wanted nothing to do with anything yet complained about not being involved.

But I don't even notice or care about these things now! ....Well actually I do notice some of them just because of the pictures, but it doesn't bother me any more! haha I'm just happy we had a wedding! Thats the way the universe works!

Its hard to step back and take people telling you what to do, or asking for your opinion and then shoot it down. After all its YOUR wedding, right? Just try to bite your tongue. Be gracious of the people who are trying to help and don't be resentful of the people who try to make things difficult and haven't wanted to help at all. I had a hard time with this, but in the end it was fine. Nothing was ruined and at the end of the day you have to remember that the world will still spin even if something doesn't turn out exactly how you want it to. Its just one day. And remember there are much more important things happening in the world, than your wedding. And frankly if you're anything like us, you're lucky to have even had the opportunity to have a real wedding with friends and family. So try to have some grace. 

Wasting Time - Says Who?

My mother said something to me this morning that was a perfect example of our relationship. And made me reflect back on my life and realize something that came full circle. We look at things so very differently, there is just no common ground. She's not a bad mom, we are just very different, oil and water. We agree on some things, but not much that actually matters. She had been listening to a show on NPR about social media. As I walked into the kitchen and she said to me.

 "I just don't understand why people feel the need to blog about stupid things like their breakfast." not knowing I have recently started a blog.
"What you determine as stupid, someone else might find interesting or helpful" I responded.
"But who cares what you're eating for breakfast? I don't!"
"Someone might." I said.
"Yeah but most people don't care what you're doing or eating its a waste of time" she said.

She just doesn't understand that people "blog", post things, or do anything for that matter, for all sorts of reasons. To teach, to learn, to have fun or simply just to share. Whether it be thoughts, ideas or a legacy. To share something that they care about in hopes that other people, even if its just one, may like or care about the same thing. To her, its stupid. If she doesn't like it or understand it, it MUST be a waste of time.

This has been my life. I stopped sharing most parts of my life with her a long time ago because of this very thing. But it was too late. She just doesn't understand me, so she never approves. Theres always something wrong, I'm always overlooking certain things and I'm never right. This killed my self esteem growing up. Its still does now, I just don't let it bother me as much. It mostly just makes me sad. Sad that I can look back on my life thus far and pin point certain things, certain opportunities and certain dreams that I let pass me by because I felt inadequate. Or I thought my mom would have had 'something' to say about it. I didn't realize while it was happening, but, I turned into a shell of myself. Keeping what I liked and enjoyed to myself. I ignored people I didn't know and kept quiet. I surrounded myself with very eccentric people successful people, so I didn't have to be. Because I was afraid of what people would think and how they would judge me if I stood out. 

Now I find myself, 25, and I'm not unhappy with who I am. But, by NOT sharing how I feel, what I want, who I am and what I like, even if its just my breakfast, for so long. I indeed feel like I've been wasting my time.

So, what someone may deem as a complete waste of time, could be the most fulfilling thing you could do with your time. Don't let them discourage you, just because they don't understand you. You'll find yourself in your mid 20's feeling like you lived your past 20 something years, but you weren't actually living. Just sort of.....existing.

Finding The Right Dog Food - Taste Of The Wild High Prairie Puppy

Caution: Shit talking below. ;) No, seriously I'm talking about poop.

Anyone who has a puppy/dog knows that there are an overabundance of different dog food brands. But what brand should you buy? Everyone has their own opinion on which food is "the best" for your pet. To be quite honest, I had no idea what I wanted to feed Finn. All I knew is we had to get him something. And it couldn't be outrageously priced.

Finn's food history
When we first adopted our furry little friend, the lady we rescued him from said he was eating Purina Puppy Chow. Now, I was positive I didn't want to feed him this. Because, well... no offense Purina or anyone who likes Purina, but there's no denying that there are much better foods to feed a 10 week old puppy. So, we went to the pet store and decided on Iams Puppy. It was more expensive, therefore, we "thought" it was a good food. Since the switch from Purina Puppy to Iams Puppy, Finn's poop had either been rock solid or explosive diarrhea. That poor pup very rarely had a normal poop and his butt looked raw every time he took a shit. At first, I associated it with switching his food so abruptly and him just being a puppy. Once the bag of Iams Puppy was getting low and Finn's poor butt had suffered enough. I finally decided it was time to do some research. I really wanted to get him a grain free food. It's just better for them. You don't see wild dogs munching on grain and corn. Why should a domestic dog? The issue is, our cat is fed grain free food because of his sensitive stomach and it is EXTREMELY expensive. Grain Free dog food is even more expensive! So, I was somewhat concerned we were going to go broke feeding our pets. With bags ranging from $40.00 - $75.00!  After a lot of research and a lot of comparing prices and ingredients I decided to order Taste of The Wild High Prairie Puppy and give it a go.

On Chewy.com, we ordered a 30 - lb bag for $43.79. Its almost the exact same price as what we were paying for the 30lb bag of Iams BUT the ingredients are 1000 times better than Iam's. With real meat and no grain or corn fillers I thought this would be a great choice and hopefully fix Finn's butt issues. The only thing that I can see that isn't "perfect" is the use of meat meals instead of just meat. But overall, I rate these ingredients very  high.

When switching him over I planned on the process taking about 2 weeks of gradually increasing the TOTW and decreasing the Iam's. Poor Finn. My poor pup had explosive diarrhea for a good week. He never had any accidents, it wasn't 'that' bad, but when he had to go he REALLY had to go. So after 2 solid weeks of my pup having terrible poops and even worse gas I was about to pull the plug and go back on the food search. I read on the Taste of The Wild website that giving your dog a little plain non fat yogurt may help so I did and it did help a little but I also wasn't about to feed my dog yogurt of the rest of his life. He was out of Iam's at this point and only had TOTW left. So I reluctantly fed him the food, dreading his next poop. As I'm sure he was too. But, to my surprise. It wasn't that bad. It wasn't solid but it wasn't anywhere near his terrible diarrhea which had become normal. So that night, I again fed him TOTW. His poop got even better. Its now been 3 weeks and I can safely say Finn's poops are so good he could win an award! I have a happy puppy with amazing poops and he doesn't nearly have to go as often! We are both happy and so is his little bum.

Looking back I probably should have slowed down the process and waited for his poop to get better before continuing to add more TOTW and less Iams. But, I associated the diarrhea with TOTW not Iam's when really, the Iam's was the problem all along!  But hey you live and you learn! If you're looking to try a grain free food but don't want to spend more on your dog's food than you do for your own I would recommend trying Taste Of The Wild. I'm sure there are "better" foods out there, but we have to be conscious of how much we spend.

Tucker The Cat's TOTW experience
*I recently switched my cat from Solid Gold to Taste Of The Wild and I'm happy with this as well. He loved Solid Gold but they recently changed their ingredients AND the price! The ingredients didn't matter as much to me as the cost. It still has good ingredients. But the price pretty much stayed the same, ranging from $35.00-$37.00 a bag. But the amount went from 15lbs to 12lbs per bag! Three pounds of cat food goes a long way so...I wasn't happy about that. The Taste Of The Wild cat food that we got him is only $25.00 for 15lbs! It hasn't made him sick (which most foods do) and its $10.00 cheaper. We'll be continuing to buy TOTW for both the dog and the cat.

Is there a better food you would recommend for dogs or cats that is roughly the same price? Let know!!!

Pet Gift Box February 2015 : Cat ^. .^

>>PetGiftBox<<
(I'm a link)

February Cat PetGiftBox

So I caved. I finally decided to sign up for monthly pet subscriptions. However, I did my research first. There are SO many different subscriptions to choose from in all different price ranges. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE my dog and my cat. But, spending $30-$40 on each of them every month just to get a box of toys/treats in the mail, that will ultimately get destroyed, is out of the question. I mean really? Which lead me to PetGiftBox. I subscribed for both the dog and the cat....still waiting on the dog box.....

PRO'S:

• It's much cheaper at $17.99 a month per pet. 

• You pay for it monthly. So, you don't have to buy 3, 6 or 12 months up front. So I thought "what the hell, I'll give one month a try". 

• you can cancel or postpone at any point. Which is true. We are moving next month so I postponed my next shipment until april, no hassle, no problems. I also don't plan on getting the cat box every month. He just doesn't need that many toys.

CON

• The only thing that I am unhappy about is that we are still waiting for the dog's PetGiftBox to come. I have a happy cat and a sad dog. I'm sure it will come eventually.

• Shipping is a little hard to track ours went from USPS to DHL back to USPS but I'm pretty sure that depends on where you live. But I'm not quite sure where our dog's box is....we'll see.

UPDATE: FINN'S DOG BOX CAME! TAKE A LOOK! HERE

Here is what was in the  February Cat PetGiftBox: Everything is "Spot" brand except for the bowl.

:)

#1. Spot Refillable Catnip Insect. This is Tuckers favorite. He's a kitty stoner.

#2. Spot Rainbow Mice Catnip Toys with crazy tails. Nine super cute little mice.

We actually needed a new bowl. Score!

#3. Bella Bowls - Stainless steel food or water dish. With little hearts on it for Valentines Day.  This had some glue/adhesive residue on the inside from the label but I was able to get most of it off.

#4. Spot Feline Harvest Grain Free Cat Treats - Dental Treats. I personally love these. My cat eats a grain free diet due to a sensitive stomach so having grain free treats is awesome!

Update: he LOVES them!

#5. Spot Feather Boa Wand. Looks like a little feathery bird-like creature. These never last too long with Tucker, but they're fun while they do!

So, what do you think? I think the contents are well worth the $17.99. As far as quality goes. Who am I kidding? Call me a bad furbaby mom but, I buy the cheapest toys when I go to the pet store. My cat would play with a ping pong ball and a tampon (unused!!) for days if I let him! So, to me, these are perfectly fine. No, complaints. I would say that one Cat PetGiftBox is plenty for 2 adult cats. Its more than enough for Tucker for the time being. We will probably be getting Tucker a box every other month. If you are interested in ordering a dog or cat PetGiftBox click HERE. 

Now....Where the heck is Finn's box????

"WTF mom..."

I'll post what's in his box as soon as we get it.....

How I Fixed A Tear In Our Microfiber Couch

Let me start by saying, I stumbled upon these couches on Craigslist for only $50! For both! We needed more seating and I can't bring myself to spend thousands of dollars on couches for more than a couple reasons.

1. We don't really have that kind of money to begin with. If we did I still don't think we would buy new couches.
2. Just why?
3. We're moving to San Diego soon, so we don't want to spend money on furniture that very possibly won't even fit in our next apartment/house/where ever we end up.
4. If I can find something used that still looks ok and serves its purpose, why not?
5. I don't like to be wasteful. Example: I used parts of our old (very very prehistoric old), yucky, love seat and made a bed for our cat Mr. Tucker. :)

 

           He likes to sleep in the sun.

He also likes to watch the squirrels.

           

And the most important reason for no new couches....
6. The PUPPY... thats all that needs to be said.

So for $50.00 I'd say we did pretty good. Yes, there are 4 tears in the couch. Three of which are on the same seat cushion, and there is one small one on the love seat arm rest. Otherwise, they're clean, almost no stains, no smells and we found a nerf dart in one of the cushion cracks. (Score!) I'm happy. I kind of just ignored the tears for a while. The guy who sold us the couches used glue to hold together the big rip. (not what I would have done, but to each his own. Men...) It was actually holding up but I knew that it was only temporary. So, I wanted to tackle this, once and for all.  I'm a little concerned about how I'm going to save microfiber covered in hard super glue but, whats the worst that could happen? I can't ruin my already ruined $50 couches. Muahahaha.

I decided I would conduct surgery. I'm giving my couch stitches. Quite literally.

You need:

• Fray Check or any other fray stopping liquid
• A needle
• Thread that matches your couch. The thicker the thread the better. 
• Some sort of sewing skill (not necessary, just helpful) 

Now this is actually relatively simple. I'm not the best seamstress (not by a long shot!), but if you actually take your time, line up your stitching, and keep your thread tight, this can actually turn out halfway decent! Its better than having a huge hole in your couch.

The first thing you need to do is carefully and conservatively put your Frey Check just around the edges of the tear you are going to stitch up. It WILL make the fabric darker, don't worry! What this does is makes sure it won't rip any more and gives the thread a little support.

Wait about 30 mins.

The fray check is the verrrry thin darker line around the tear
this was the "super glued" tear hence the weird discoloration 

This is the fun part. You are going to use a ladder stitch. Make sure you have enough thread and put a knot at the end. I used regular thread and doubled it.  To do this, double your length. After you thread your needle, hold both ends of the thread letting the needle fall to the middle. Knot these two ends together.

Yes, I'm a 25 year old college graduate and I screwed up the alphabet. Judge me.

• It's not a hard stitch. To start (A) you want to take your needle and go from the inside of the tear and push the needle up (from the inside, to the outside) and pull it all the way through. So, the knot at the end of your thread is inside the tear you are stitching up. 

• Now, take your needle to the other side of the tear (B) and push it through, from the outside of the tear to the inside of the tear. Pull it tight.

• Take your needle,  push it up through the fabric from the inside to the outside (C) Pull it tight.

• SO, the "...." between (B) and (C) in the drawing, is the thread on the inside of the tear. Now you do the same thing all over again on the other side.

• On the other side of the tear (D) push your needle from the top or outside of the tear to the inside and pull it tight. This is where you will start to see your first stitch close up tight.

• Again, push the needle up from the inside of the tear to the outside (E)

Repeat this process until the entire thing is closed up. I noticed that it looks best when your stitches are directly across from each other. And when your (B) and (C), (D) and (E), etc stitches are close to each other 

To secure my stitching when i was done, I went under the thread of my last stitch and made a small knot. Then pushed my needle up the center of the close tear. Pulled it out and cut the thread as close to the "tear" as I could. 

If you want you can practice the stitch on paper. Just use two sides of a piece of paper as your "tear" and sew them back together using the ladder stitch described above.

I have no idea if this is the "right way" to do this. But its what I did and it worked.

Mine isn't the neatest sewing job, but I also rushed through it because, I just wanted to close up those tears. Take your time, and it will come out almost perfect. I rushed and I'm shocked at how "not bad" mine looks.

Photos coming soon!!! 

Camera died and the couches and camera charger are now in storage so I can't retake pictures. But, I ordered a new charger, thank you amazon prime, so I should have it shortly.