Getting Married During A-School

So you and your Sailor want to get married during A-school?!? 

Photo Cred: Kayla Coleman Photography

Getting married in A-school is not an easy task! There are many factors that you need to take into consideration. My husband and I got married while he was in A-school and its a less than glamous experience. The above photo is from our wedding ceremony NOT when we eloped in A school. There are rules that need to be followed and tons of paper work. Yayy......

Having gone through all of this I'm going to try to answer some of the questions that you may have, by sharing my experience. I only know what we experienced while doing this in Great Lakes, IL. Please comment or email me if you have any questions that I didn't answer!

First things first!
CAN WE EVEN GET MARRIED IN A SCHOOL?

The answer is, maybe. There are many things that you have to consider if you are thinking about marriage while your sailor is in school. First and most important. Are you ready to get married? Marrying someone in the military isn't for everyone. Its not just a quick decision. You both need to talk about it. Your future will constantly be changing, whether you want it to or not. You have to be very strong, very loyal and very independent. Those traits can be learned but usually you either have them or you don't. Be honest with yourself. Can you handle being alone? Not speaking for months? Being a single mom or dad during deployments? Moving around the country/world every few years? Don't just do it because you feel pressured.

Don't get married for silly reasons. OBVIOUSLY! 

I am by no means telling anyone what they should or shouldn't do! Its your life and you know your situation best. But, you would be surprised. I've seen more than a few of my husbands friends get married in A school, only to get divorced soon after. Just think about it, long term.

You don't want to be away from each other/You miss each other:

I know it's hard being away from someone you love. Especially after something like bootcamp.... I'm sorry to break it to you but it doesn't matter if you're married or not. There will be more times than you can count that you will have to be away from each other. Getting married will only change that in the short term. If anything, you're solidifying the fact that you'll have at least 9-12 months without your significant other. And thats just one deployment. Not to mention if they have further schooling, or special orders. If any of that is less that a certain amount of months, you can not go with them.

You're afraid of what might happen being so far away/You don't trust each other to be in a long distance relationship: 

This is the absolute worst reason to get married. NEVER base a marriage on jealousy, fear or any other negative emotion. That is a very unstable foundation to build the rest of your future TOGETHER. Thats a very unstable foundation to build anything on! If you feel this way, step back and look at the situation. Have a serious talk with your significant other and try to fix your relationship. Pushing the relationship to a level that you are not ready for, will just set you up for disaster and ultimately divorce!

You get SO much extra money when you get married!:

NOT! you really don't get "extra money" when you get married to a military member. This is a common misconception. And frankly, if you would get married for money, you have a whole lot of other problems you need to deal with before thinking about marriage. Your sailor's pay hardly changes. They get an extra $100 ish added to their pay depending on their rate. What happens is, your sailor gets BAH. (Basic Allowance for Housing) Depending on where your sailor is located, they will give him or her a certain amount of money to support himself and/or his or her family. They don't get this because they're married. They have single BAH and dependent BAH again the difference is only a couple hundred dollars. Definitely not enough to support another person. Once they are out of school, they get this no matter what, as long as they're living off base. What they do get is BAS this is a separation allowance and its around $300ish. Again, depending on their rate. Your sailor is no Daddy Warbucks! Especially right out of boot camp. I made twice as much money as my husband when we got married and he was in A-school. (

We've been together for 5+ years and we want to get married (but you're 17 or just tuned 18):

Please don't. I'm sure you love each other, but a lot happens from the time that you're 17-18 to the time that you're 22-25+. A lot that can ruin a young marriage. You both will change and grow and you may just grow different ways. If you're serious about it, wait and see how the first deployment goes. God help me if I married the guy I was dating when I was 18! It would be a train wreck. And I loved him very much at the time. We dated for years. But growing up changes you and you realize the difference between the things that you want and the things that you need and where they meet in the middle. It takes time!

HOW LONG IS YOUR SAILORS SCHOOL?

This is very very important. They have a lot of rules that they have to follow when they are in school. And some schools are shorter than others. Now, I don't know about other schooling, I only know what we went through. My husband was an FC so when he left boot camp, he stayed in Great Lakes, IL. He was in Great Lakes for about a year. Once your sailors get out of boot camp, they are phase 1.

Phase 1. This means that they pretty much have no liberty. They have to wear their uniform everywhere, they can't go off base unless they have 2 other sailors with them who are also phase 1. This means you can't come sign him or her out. So, you can't get married. They also have a very strict curfew. Until they complete a certain number of tasks and room inspections they can not be phased up.

Phase 2: Once your sailor becomes phase 2 he or she has a lot more liberty. They can wear normal clothes when not on duty and sign in and out of base with a liberty buddy. They are allowed to consume alcohol (21 and over) but can not stay out over night. They have the same curfew. I was able to sign my husband out at this phase.

Phase 3: Your sailor can pretty much do what ever they want at this point. Finally. They can stay over night, as long as they are on base for muster in the morning. 

When we decided we wanted to get married my sailor was phase 2. He had to tell his chain of command that he was engaged. He then had to go to marriage classes. After completing a certain number of classes, he was then able to start the paper work. One of the things he had to tell them was when we were getting married, which at the time we didn't know. They pretty much told him if he was serious about getting married he had to do it ASAP so I would be on his orders. Otherwise it wouldn't work.

Once he got all of the paper work done, we had to get a marriage license. You get this at the County Clerk's office. Usually in city hall. We went to the city hall in Waukegan, IL its about 15 mins from base. Depending on the state, you may need it a week before you get married or you can get it 24 hours before. In IL we had to have it for 24 hours before we could legally get married. Do our research!

you get this nifty little folder

filled with marriage goodies...

Make sure you have ALL of the documents that are required! ID, birth certificate, social security card, whatever! I brought it all and I was glad that I did. We planned on getting married on July 18th 2014. About a week before for some reason or another we had to push it up to the 17th. I still don't know why but they told him friday wouldn't work so he had to do it thursday. We went to the courthouse (off base) and got married. The "ceremony" itself took about 30 seconds. And we were married. You can choose to go all out and have a dress and flowers if you wish, but I just didn't see the point. It was still special but it was quick and we were in a room full of strangers. We also knew we would have a real ceremony with our families so we had that to look forward to.

After you get the marriage certificate you have to go to PSD. Try to plan it so that you can do all of this on the same day, or at least the same visit. You don't want to wait. So make sure you check when offices are open and on what days! It was hard for James to get off base in time to make it to the court house and to PSD because his ship's liberty would drop so late in the day. At PSD they will issue the spouse his or her Military Spouse ID. Make sure you have the marriage certificate, and all forms of identification. (again just in case!) You will be enrolling in DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System) This is important especially if you're pregnant! Also make sure that you sailor updates his life insurance policy to include you and make sure he updates his orders!

ORDERS

This is why we had to get married so quickly. If a sailors spouse is not listed on his or her orders, the spouse and family can not go with them wherever they get stationed. You can move there on your own but who can afford to move across the country once a year? If you're on his or her orders the navy will pay to move you. But I've gathered that they will only move a spouse/family once a year. When you get married in A-school they WILL NOT pay to move you to your sailors school. If you choose to move wherever they are, it will be on your own dollar. When they graduate A-school they will go somewhere else. This is where you can have the Navy move you. If they are going to C-school, the schooling has to be longer than 8 or 9 months for them to move you. (so many rules)

BAH/BAS
Once you and your spouse are indeed married and have done all of the required paperwork, he or she will start receiving BAH and BAS in their pay. You will only get it from the day that you got married onward. For example. We got married on July 17th. So on Aug 1st when my husband got paid, we received a little less than the actual amount of BAH for the end of July. Pay goes from the 1st to the 15th and the 15th to the end of the month.

Make sure you or your spouse check their LES. This is their Leave Earnings Statement. AKA their pay stub. You can check this at: http://mypay.dfas.mil

*This website has a lot of information that you will need to know after the marriage process: Welcome to the Navy Family - Military Spouse Info

Also keep in mind it takes time for the Navy to do paper work and they don't always do it correctly. The infamous "Hurry up and wait!" is in full force here. You will almost certainly have to wait for things to get done. So, give yourselves enough time. Actually, give yourselves MORE than enough time. Don't try to rush things because the Navy does not rush. 

Dealing With Acne

Yes. I Struggled With Acne

This topic is near and dear to my heart. Let me start by saying if you or a loved one struggles with acne, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I don't care if you're a boy or girl, 13 or 30! I'm 25 and I've been dealing with acne for almost half my life. Acne affects so many people, and its not just a physical thing. It affects your self esteem and how you feel about yourself. Its such a horrible feeling to feel like when people look at you, they don't even see you. They just see all the spots on your face. I've been there and I've felt like that. I've never had very severe acne. But there have been points in my life where my acne was borderline moderate to severe. I've had it on my face, my back my chest. I've even had it on my shoulders and arms. IT SUCKS! It truly does. And it can be very painful physically and emotionally.

I was afraid to talk to people because of how I looked. I was afraid to wear certain clothes because people might see my acne. I was afraid to not wear makeup because I somehow thought trying to cover it up was better than people seeing how I actually looked. So, I totally understand the fear and humiliation that acne can cause. I actually lied to a boy I dated a long time ago and told him all of my acne scars, were from the Chicken Pox! Thats how embarrassed I was. But it doesn't have to be like that. I want to share some of the things that I have learned throughout the years that have helped me start to manage my acne.

Everyone is different and everyone has different skin. So, what worked for me, may not work for you. But, if you're like me. You'll try anything. I have a set of drawers FULL of acne products that I've tried. I've tried literally everything except for Acutane. Drugstore washes, cleansers, gels, lotions to the top of the line prescription cleansers, lotions even antibiotics, you name it, I've probably tried it. Keep in mind I'm no doctor, I just know what I've done and what has and hasn't worked for me.

First things first. This doesn't involve any products or tricks! It just involves you! As hard as it is, you need to get over the humiliation of acne. You need to start to love yourself just the way that you are, right now, with or without the acne. Because someday, the acne will go away, but you'll still be you. It takes time, and you'll have good days and bad days, but you'll be amazed at much better you feel. Taking that burden off of yourself is the best thing you can do! Your skin doesn't define you! It sounds so corny, just trust me!

Now, on to the stuff you're probably looking for. The miracle products that cured my acne!! Unfortunately, I hate to break it to you, but there's no such thing. Managing acne, takes time, patients,  trial and error. I am no doctor. I just know what I have done myself and what has and has not worked for me and the people that I know.

Be Extra Clean:
Acne is NOT caused by having dirty skin. Just because you have acne you are in no way dirty! However by keeping things that touch your skin extra clean you can really help control your acne. Some of us just have more sensitive skin.

• Be conscious of what you put on you hair. I found that a lot of hair products I was using were actually causing acne on my face and back! How does hair cause acne? Simple. If you're anything like me you hate washing your hair. Which is fine, you aren't supposed to wash your hair every day. But, if you don't wash your hair all the hair products that you use, stay on your hair. Tie up your hair at night! If you don't tie you're hair up, all of those products you put on your hair are now sitting on your face, back, neck and pillow case all. night. long. If you're a guy, just wash your hair, make sure all the product is rinsed out.

• Make sure your pillow cases, sheets and mattress pad are fresh and clean! It sounds silly but changing your pillow case twice a week and your sheets at least once a week can make a world of difference in your skin. 

• Always use a clean towel out of the shower. Its a little wasteful, but it can help. Also, have a designated face towel! This way you aren't rubbing the towel that may have conditioner from your hair, on your face, back or chest. 

• NEVER go to sleep with makeup on. Obviously. It will clog your pores, dirties your sheets and pillowcases and just never ends well. I don't care how tired you are. Take the extra time to wash your face. You will thank me later. 

• Wear clean, breathable clothes. If you workout, bring an extra change of clothes and shower at the gym immediately after. It doesn't have to be a long shower, just rinse off with a cleansing wash. Then have a real shower when you get home. Also bring cleansing wipes in your gym bag, to get off any extra sweat and grime that you may have missed in your quick shower.

• Ladies, wear a clean bra. Every. single. day. It sounds obvious but I've worn bras 2 days in a row before. We all have. If you struggle with back acne. You don't want to reuse something that already has oils and sweat from your skin on it. Hey, now you can go out and buy a few extra bras! If Victorias Secret is out of your price range, Kohls has some pretty cheap ones if you can get a good deal. Or you can go really cheap and go to Forever21 or H&M. But don't expect them to last long. 

Your Diet Is So So Important!


Water Water Water Water.

Ice water with fresh lemons and strawberries

Drink Water! LOTS of water. We are made of water! Literally. More than 50% of the human body is water and I would say that most of us are not as hydrated as we probably should be. Instead we drink sugary drinks, filled with chemicals and caffeine. We also drink alcohol which is literally just sugar. I'm guilty! I admit to indulging in all of the above. But the best way to help your skin is to cut it all out. Only drink water. If you want something with flavor add fruit or make some hot or iced tea. Green tea is great for your skin and you can get green tea in so many flavors. If you really want to help your skin you have to change your lifestyle. And the best way to do that is to start from the inside out. You need to be conscious of the things that you put into your body.

FOOD.

Be mindful of the food that you're eating. I'm just going to come right out and say it. If you want clear skin, no more sugar! Period. If all you eat is fried food, salty snacks and sugary treats. What do you think its going to do to your body? Yes, all of those things may be delicious. IN MODERATION. But they're all fake. It's fake food filled with a lot of yucky chemicals that our bodies don't know what to do with. My best advice is to try to eat as clean as possible. This means NO FAST FOOD and NO Fried Food! And try to stay away from diet foods. They may be low fat or low sugar but they're usually high in other things that are really bad for you. A good way to start to eat healthier is to only eat foods that have less that 6 ingredients. By following this rule you cut out a lot of those extra filler ingredients that have no business being in our food any way. Its hard, but no one ever said getting clear skin or a healthier body would be easy. Here are some example of easy things that you can buy to start eating healthier.

• Whole Grains: Wheat bread, whole wheat tortillas, Brown rice, A lot of gluten free grains and rices are full of whole grains.  You want to avoid white breads, white rice, white flour and sugar.

• Animal Protein: Fish, low fat meats, boneless skinless chicken, turkey, lean beef. 

• Other Proteins: nuts and beans

• Vegetables: Eat as many vegetables as you can, in the largest variety of colors! Veggies are full of vitamins and antioxidants that are not only good for your skin, but your all around health. Spinach, carrots, kale, celery, broccoli, tomatoes, peppers, squash, zucchini, sweet potatoes, avocado. The list goes on and on.

• Fruits: The only sugar you SHOULD eat. Fruits are full of sugar. But this isn't the processed table sugar that is so bad for you. Eating fruits in moderation is great for your health and skin. Apples, and berries are specifically great for you. Someone once told me you should eat apples and berries every. single. day. No exceptions. Ever. Of course other fruits are great too. Bananas, oranges, kiwi, pineapple, peaches, pears, grapes, melon...Mmmm 

• Dairy: Some people say dairy can cause acne. Does that mean you should never have dairy again. No, not necessarily. We need the calcium in dairy. I mainly use almond milk and greek yogurt. Sometimes skim. I avoid cheese and other dairy products. If you do decide to cut back on the dairy make sure you take a multi vitamin that provides enough calcium! There are also some fortified juices but, with those comes sugar so you need to be careful. 

Instead of eating out try cooking at home with your family. You're never to young or too old to learn how to cook healthy! If you still live with your parents. Find healthy recipes to make together, go grocery shopping with your parent and pick out healthy food. If you're a busy parent, too busy to cook or just don't have the time to cook healthy food (college student). I call Bull Sh*t on you! Invest in a crock pot. They aren't expensive. My husband and I got ours a JCPenney on sale, with a coupon and a mail in rebate. It cost us a whole $15. Or go to a thrift shop or salvation army, the old ones work just as good mine actually works better, its just small. You can cook so many healthy, clean dishes and YOU don't actually have to do anything but put it in the pot, come back 6 hours later and its done. Easy peasy.

TIP: If you're an ice cream lover, give up the ice cream and invest in a Yonana. It makes a frozen sorbet-like desert out of bananas and other fruits. Its so good, without all the guilt.


Products:

The Pill (sorry boys)
The first thing that has helped and also hurt my skin is hormonal birth control. It helped for a very long time about 6 years, then I switched to a different brand because of my insurance and I had the worst acne I had ever had in my life. I ended up stopping taking the pill completely until I could clear up my acne. Once I was able to clear up the acne I was able to start a low dose hormonal birth control pill without too much extra hormonal acne. I still have some but, what girl doesn't.

I would say if you're thinking about trying something that isn't topical, talk to your doctor about birth control. Even though it gave me horrible acne once I switched brands, before I switched my acne was manageable and I would still recommend it. If it doesn't work, you don't have to keep taking it. Don't be embarrassed to ask for it. I started taking it when I was about 15 for acne, not sex. Its a normal thing that doctors prescribe to help young women with acne problems.

Acne.org
As I said, I've tried so many different products that claim to magically cure your acne. They either made it worse, dried out my skin horribly, or just didn't do anything at all. I currently use the Acne.org regimen. It actually works! Or it does for me. I love these products. I don't go anywhere without them. There's a cleanser, a treatment (benzole peroxide), and a moisturizer. This truly is the only moisturizer I've ever used that hasn't caused breakouts.

I was shocked at how well these products worked for me. I noticed a difference within about 1.5-2 weeks. However after those two weeks, my skin became very, very dry and I broke out again! But they tell you to use so much product, I just started using half the amount that was recommended, using extra moisturizer throughout the day and the dryness went away. Once the dryness stopped the breakout stopped. I was left with the clearest skin I'd had in a while. I use the cleanser on my face as well as on my back and chest in the shower. I also used to use the treatment on my back and chest too. I almost never have any acne on my back or chest any more so I just use the cleanser and save the rest of the products for my face. Just be careful because the cleanser and treatment do bleach. So designate yourself some white or old towels and make sure you let the treatment dry before you get dressed. It would even be safe to wear an undershirt. I started using these products when I was in college. They have made such a difference in my skin.

Highly recommended. They have a travel size that you can order. I used this to see if I liked it before committing to large bottles.

Clean&Clear Persa Gel 10
This stuff is great. Its not really an actual gel. Its white. If you have one of those monster zits put this stuff on it! Put a big glob of it on the zit and let it dry before you go to sleep. In the morning wash it off when you normally wash your face. This won't get rid of the zit over night but it will make it much smaller and help dry it out. Do this EVERY SINGLE NIGHT until the zit is gone or at least dried up.

you can also put a very thin layer of this over your entire face. When I say thin, I mean, you can't even see it, thin. Do this once a week. But be careful. It absolutely will dry out your skin. If you have particularly sensitive skin, try a smaller area of your face before you try the whole thing. Last thing you want is a bad retain all over your face.

My Favorite Tips and Tricks:
This is the most simple but seems to be the most difficult thing when it comes to acne. DON'T TOUCH IT! DON'T PICK IT! DON'T POP IT!  Just leave those things alone!

Hot Water & Sea Salt
I honestly think this works just as well if not better than any spot treatment. As soon as you feel a zit starting to grow, do this! The sooner you do it the better the results will be. I can almost promise you that it will help keep the zit small and under control. I usually do this before I use the Clean&Clear persa gel at night if I feel a big one coming.

• Take a bowl or mug of water and heat it up. You want the water to be hot! Just hot enough to touch and not feel like you're burning your skin. If its too hot let it cool after step 2.

• Add sea salt. The amount of salt depends on the amount of water. I usually add some stir it up so it dissolves and taste it. If it tastes like salt water you're good. If it tastes like way too salty water, thats too much. Add more water. Id say 1 or 2 teaspoons should be about enough, give or take a little. 

• Now that you have hot salt water. You're going to take a CLEAN washcloth or rag, dip the corner into the water and press the wet corner of the washcloth onto your pimple. It should be very warm but not too hot. Hold it there, pressing, until it doesn't feel warm any more. And repeat. Each time you repeat, use a CLEAN part of the washcloth. 

• Continue this for 2-3 mins. then take a break. After about 20-30 mins repeat the warm compresses. 

The warm salt water compresses helps to draw things to the surface of the skin. You may see the pimple start to come to a head. DO NOT try to pop it. You never want to pop a zit unless you are 100% positive its popable. Otherwise you can make it twice as bad.

Not just one of these things will "cure" your acne. Treating acne takes time. These are simply suggestions of the things that I have done that have helped me clear my own skin.

Navy PIR: Boot Camp Graduation ON A BUDGET

PIR Weekend On a Budget

If you check my blog post NAVY PIR FOR DUMMIES: BOOT CAMP GRADUATION. I tell you about PIR.. What to wear, where to stay, things to do. But what if you're on a budget? Who isn't, right?! So, how can you save money while still making the weekend special for your loved one who is graduating? There are plenty of ways!

First and foremost, calling off work can be hard. If you have a job that allows you to work early/late, pick up or switch shifts, try to arrange accordingly so you aren't losing a substantial amount of money. You can also go through your house and clear out some old things that you don't really use any more. Have a garage sale or sell it on Ebay or Craigslist. Whatever you can't sell just donate. It will feel great getting rid of stuff that was previously just taking up space. It may only be a couple bucks but it can still go towards your trip.

Of course some expenses are unavoidable like travel and the hotel. Make sure you look for good deals. PLAN AHEAD! PLAN AHEAD! PLAN AHEAD! Flights are always cheaper when booked in advance! If you type in where you're flying from, and where you're flying to into google it will give you a list of flights from different airlines, you can pick your dates. I've found the cheapest ones here. 

Example: "Cleveland, Oh to San Diego Ca flights" 

The hotels around Great Lakes fill up fast. I've tried booking a week in advance and that has been to late. All the cheap hotels go first and you're left with the $250-$300 a night ones. (Thats 1/3 of my rent!) They also hike up their prices on the weekends. The navy lodge is definitely reasonable if they have rooms available. I think my total bill from the Navy Lodge for PIR weekend was somewhere in the low $300's. Another thing to keep in mind is to spend the extra money to get a refundable or exchangeable hotel room if your hotel offers it! The navy is unpredictable. You never know what can happen. God forbid your soon-to-be-sailor doesn't pass Battle Stations or they get set back for being sick or hurt. Losing a few hundred dollars because plans changed is horrible. I know from experience. A month or two after PIR, I had plans to go see my husband. It turned out that he ended up losing liberty that weekend because someone royally screwed up. So, I couldn't go see him. Another time he didn't do well on a test and lost liberty. Needless to say, Id rather lose $25-$50 to ensure I can change my travel date, than lose $350+.

*Ask for Military discounts! Whether you're at the mall or out to breakfast. It can't hurt! The worst they can say is "no".

FOOD!
Going out to eat for 3-4 days, for every meal can break your bank account. Try to find a hotel with a kitchenette! I know for sure, The Navy Lodge and Candlewood Suites in Waukegan both have little kitchens in each room! Candlewood even has a grill outside with a picnic table. You have a fridge, a stove, toaster, sink and a microwave. They provide plates, cups, mugs, flatware and cooking necessities. Or you can pick up paper and plastic. This can save you a TON of money. When you arrive, you can go to Wal-mart (right next to Candlewood Suites) and buy food for the weekend. OR wait until you can see your sailor and have them go to the Commissary with you. Its tax free. The food isn't always a whole lot cheaper. However, produce can be better quality. Sometimes. Other times it's picked over.

By cooking in your room you can spend around $50 to eat and drink for the entire weekend if you shop smart. That beats spending $50 to eat out for just one night. Not to mention your sailor will probably love a home cooked meal from mom/dad, grandma/grandpa or the husband/wife. Granted, theres no oven. But you can still make a lot of wonderful dishes. Pasta, BLT's, tacos and rice, chicken and stuffing, stir fry, veggies,  burgers, fish, mashed potatoes, eggs bacon and pancakes. I mean, the options are endless. Here are some stovetop recipes from food.com. Below is an incredibly easy recipe for those looking for something very quick and cheap. I make this when I don't feel like cooking because it takes less than 10 mins. Add a small salad and a side of green beans or corn on the cob and you have yourself a meal.

Mushroom Burgers
If you like cream of mushroom soup.... this is EASY, cheap, quick and my husband loves it.
It takes less than 10 mins to prep and cook and it really is good.
-Brown some lean ground beef you can add chopped up onions and fresh mushrooms if you choose
-Add anywhere between half and the whole can of Campbell's Low Fat Cream of Mushroom soup depending on how much ground beef you're using
-Add a 1/4 to 1/2 a can of skim milk (or any other kind of milk) to mix in with the soup and beef
It should be like sloppy joe consistency. Chunky beef and the soup provides a sauce. If you find it to be too soupy, just let it simmer and it will cook down. Make sure you stir it so it doesn't burn.

Serve on wheat toast, hamburger buns, egg noodles or just eat it plain.

Another way to save money on food is to buy things to pack in a lunch. Some turkey and cheese from the deli, PB & J, pitas, some fruit, a few snacks and some bottled waters or sodas. Throw it all in a back pack, take the Metra downtown and have lunch at Millennium or Grant Park. (weather permitting) Or, you can take the Metra or drive to Ravinia (about 35-40 mins) and go to the Botanic Gardens (free parking with their military ID and free admission, all the time for everyone) and have your little picnic there. Again, weather permitting. Even if you choose to go out to eat, buying snacks at the store, is significantly cheaper than buying them downtown, or at the train station. You can buy a case of 12 sodas for $3.00-$4.00 or a 22oz bottle for $3.50....I'd go for 12 cans.

In the winer its a little harder, because you can't really eat a packed lunch outside. I mean, you can if you're an Eskimo...but, I don't recommend it. If you opt to go out to eat for lunch or a celebratory dinner. USE GROUPON! I'll say it again. USE GROUPON! or any other "coupon" website. You can find some incredible deals. Whole meals with an appetizer, sometimes including a drink for 2 or 4 people for $20-$40 (ish). Look locally or downtown. Especially if you're already in the city and planning to eat out anyway. Use your smartphone. Why spend more than you have to? Just make sure it isn't too far away.

ALCOHOL/DESSERT
For those of you who drink (even though your sailor can't), don't go out for drinks. And don't get a beer or glass of wine at the restaurant. Unless of course its included in your Groupon coupon. ;) Those $3.00-$10.00 beers/martinis/glasses of wine add up. And they add up quick. Opt for getting a bottle of wine or a case of beer at the grocery store. Maybe some hot chocolate and some yummy desert (some small cakes, brownies, donuts or ice cream) and have it at the hotel. .Just make sure you get something non-alcoholic for your sailor, the kids and whoever is driving your sailor back to base!  This would be a great time to sit down and talk. Something you haven't had a chance to do in a while. Or better yet, make cookies/brownies/your sailors favorite treat at home and bring them in tuperware containers. Those sort of things travel well.

THINGS TO DO
When I went to Great Lakes for PIR it was February and below zero wind chills. Needless to say we had to stay inside. But If the weather is nice, there are a ton of cheap or even free things to do. And, there are things to do even if its cold and snowy.

-Botanic Garden
This is one of my favorite places! As I mentioned, the Botanic Garden is free to everyone and its beautiful. If you take the Metra, its a little over a mile walk from the Ravinia Metra stop to the garden. Its not a bad walk if the weather is nice, some of the houses on the way are beautiful. Or, you can call a cab. Personally, if you're just going to the garden and not planning on going downtown, I would say just drive if you have a car. I doubt your sailor will want to walk in their dress whites or blues or peanut butters. Those shoes aren't terribly comfy. And when you drive, you don't have to worry about train times. 

 

-Going Downtown
Another thing that is cheap which I also previously mentioned is taking the Metra downtown. Its around $7.00 per ticket and I've seen sailors in uniform ride for free. The ride takes little over an hour and drops you off in the center of downtown at Oglive Transportation Center. I'd say most things are within a two mile radius. Definitely walkable if you like to walk. You can take a cab. Or there are other train lines but that can get confusing if you aren't familiar. If you choose to take a cab, flag one down. OR if you or someone you know is cell phone savvy, download the app UBER. This app shows you UBER drivers that are close to you. You pick your driver and they come get you. Its cheaper and relatively quick. You pay through the app too. You can drive downtown if you really want to, but Chicago traffic is horrible. It will take about 1 1/2 to 2 hours to get downtown and find a place to park. Parking can run $50 upwards on the weekends. And with how unpredictable traffic is, I would be concerned about getting my sailor back to base on time. I've sat in weekend traffic coming out of the city for over an hour and hardly moved a few yards. The Metra is cheaper, more convenient and literally drops you off outside of base.

-Millenium Park / Grant Park
Parks are free. If you're lucky there may even be a festival of some kind going on. If there is, admission is either free or cheap. They have art festivals, food festivals, jazz/blues/music festivals. thats always fun. Oh yeah, and go see the bean!

-Navy Pier
Free to get in. Inside its like a little mall. The pier is pretty and a nice place to walk around. Sometimes they have different events going on. Check the website. 

-Michigan Ave
Shopping. Shopping. Shopping.  The "magnificent mile". Even if you don't want to shop, there are a lot of really cool stores that are worth a look. Its always fun to walk around and look at things that you'll never actually buy. Guys, there's a huge Nike store! You'll want to check it out.

-Museums (Adler Planetarium, Shedd Aquarium, Field Museum, Art Museum )
I believe almost all of them are free for anyone with a Military or Military Spouse ID. Otherwise admission can be a little expensive, but you absolutely can spend all day on some of the museums. SO, it evens out. Check reviews of museums and see if there are any that you would be interested in. The Planetarium, Aquarium and Field Museums are all right by each other. The Art Museum is little ways north on S Michigan Ave.

-The Waterfront
Right next to Grant park is Lake Michigan. All along the shore is paved and makes for a beautiful walk. You can walk all the way to the Museums if you want to. Its beautiful.

Gurnee Mills Mall
You can go to the mall. Window shopping is free and your sailor may want to pick up a few things with their boot camp pay check. Gurnee Mills is HUGE. I've gone there many times just to walk around and look at stuff. 

Movies
You can go see a movie, but the movies aren't really cheap, especially if you get snacks....If you do want to go to the movies there is a theater in Gurnee. You can channel your inner high school rebel days and sneak your own candy in your purse. ;) I've known "people" to sneak all sorts of things from gummy worms to taco bell....I have no shame. lol I'll leave that up to your own judgement. haha. You CAN however rent a movie from red box or NetFlix if you have it and watch it in your hotel room. If you aren't feeling so daring. If your sailor is a movie buff, there very well might be a movie that came out while they were in boot camp that they never had a chance to see. 

Bring Games/Cards
When the weather is yucky and none of you really want to go out. You may want to just stay in and play a game.

However controversial, Cards Against Humanity is HILARIOUS and can be a very fun time. Granted, playing it with your family can be embarrassing, awkward and downright wrong. But, that makes it even more hilarious. Keep in mind this is not a game for anyone under the age of 17 ish. (give or take a year or two depending on maturity levels) It has crude, rude and horrible yet hilarious humor. Not for the faint hearted, overly sensitive or easily offended. That being said, I've played it with people's parents and grandparents and I was in tears because I was laughing so hard. The game runs about $25 on amazon. And is worth every penny. It's also a great game to pull out if you have people over coming over your house....depending on the people.

For the less adventurous, the people who have small children or if you just don't want to play embarrassing games with your family. A deck of cards can provide almost as much fun. Some hotels even have board games at the front desk.

LADIES (random!!!)
Don't forget your birth control! Don't forget your birth control! Don't forget your birth control!
When traveling this is literally the one thing you CAN NOT forget besides your ID. Whether you use hormonal birth control or condoms (I recommend both!) you don't want to forget them! Particularly if you're on the pill. Even if you don't plan on "getting busy". If you forget your pills, it will ruin your entire weekend. 1. If you don't take your pill, you'll get your period and who wants to get their period when they aren't supposed to? Nobody, ever. and 2. For obvious reasons. We're talking about saving money and getting pregnant isn't cheap. Defiantly not in the budget. Also if you're on the pill keep in mind the time change. Depending on your pill, an hour or two may or may not make much of a difference. But, its better to be safe than sorry. Or better yet, better to be safe, than pregnant!

5ish Things You Will Probably Save Money On At Costco

We're on a budget. When I say budget I mean, our wedding ceremony is next month with only one income and its low rate military pay, kind of budget. SO needless to say, I'm constantly crunching numbers and looking for ways to save a dime or two. (hopefully not for long, he gets new orders this week, then I can start working full time again when we move)

Now, I never thought Costco, when I thought budget shopping, but, I was pleasantly surprised. Some people will argue that you can get better deals and quality elsewhere. Which happens occasionally, if you have a good coupon, but definitely not all the time. I'm also not a "paper goods" snob. As long as its good quality. I'm happy. I don't need the best toilet paper. At a certain point you might as well just wipe with dollar bills.

Kirkland Toilet Paper

Partial Roll

Full Roll

-We were pleasantly surprised with the quality of Costco brand toilet paper (actually everything was good quality but sometimes cheap toilet paper just stinks) The giant 30 pack of  2-ply toilet paper has lasted my husband and I 3 months and we still have 18 rolls left. I've seen it as cheap as $16.99 and as much as $19.50. The best part about it, is its not thin so you don't use too much, its also not ridiculously thick so you actually have a lot on each roll.

Kirkland Paper Towels

Full Roll: Select a Size

Full Roll: Select a Size

-Again these are good quality. You get 12 rolls in a pack. We've bought the "Signature Premium Big Roll" as well as the "Signature Create a Size". The "Big Roll" paper towels are much thicker and each sheet is very big, but you don't get as many. Where as the "Create a Size" are a little thinner but you almost get double. When I say "thinner" I don't mean they're thin, I can clean with them and they don't fall apart. For example, I can carry wet veggies across my kitchen in them without them tearing. The last pack we bought was the "Create a Size" at the same time we bought the toilet paper 3 months ago and we still have 6 1/2 rolls left.  I personally prefer the "Create a Size" because sometimes I don't need a giant sheet of paper towel to clean a small mess. I believe the "Big Roll" was around $20.00 ish and the "Create a Size" is around $18.00.

Kirkland Frozen Pizza
-I know, it seems funny to put frozen pizza on this list, but, if anyone has a son or husband like mine who is a bottomless pit. Pizza adds up. At Costco you get a 4 pack of cheese pizzas for around $10.00. Sometimes they're even on sale for $7-$8. Its no DiGiorno, but its definitely still good. We just add our own toppings.

Kirkland Olive Oil
- 1 Liter of Olive Oil is $10. It literally lasts forever and I use it all the time.

Canned Goods/Non Perishables
- You can definitely get a lot of canned goods cheaper other places but there are certain things that I  use all the time and Costco's prices are right. We always get a big box canned diced tomatoes and a box of canned tomato sauce. They're both organic which is a plus for me. Another thing that you can find really cheap is salsa. All three of these things are great for cooking. You can make all sorts of things. You can also find great deals on pastas and rice. I always stock up. If you pack lunches, keep an eye out for fruit snacks, applesauce and fruit cups. Just check the prices because sometimes its not the best deal. A lot of times it is.

And lastly

Chocolate muffins. Those sweet, delectable giant chocolate muffins. Not in the diet but they are definitely in the budget as a splurge item. You can get two 6 packs for around $6.00-$7.00 if you go at the right time. (There are many more flavors, chocolate is just a personal vice) And they are so damn good. Pop one in the oven or the microwave to heat it up, add a scoop of ice cream if you're into that sorta thing.....Oh.My. I'm drooling.

Photo: Foodwander

Navy PIR For Dummies: Boot Camp Graduation

PIR 
So your son/daughter, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife is about to graduate from Navy RTC, boot camp and you're going to his or her graduation.... Now what? I had a million questions as I'm sure you do to. I searched and scoured through the Internet to find all the answers but I would have loved if they were all on one place. So, having gone through PIR myself for my boyfriend, now husband in February 2014 and currently living in Waukegan, IL. I'm just going to go down my list of questions that I had...Starting with the one question I'm sure almost every woman asks herself every time she has to go somewhere.

What the heck do I wear?! 
Check out my lookbook for different outfit ideas!

I actually had trouble finding some good information about this particular topic. The navy 4 mom's website had some info. But I wanted examples. I wanted to know what other women wore. (because, I'm weird like that haha)

CHECK THE WEATHER!!!!

What to wear completely depends on what time of year your soon-to-be sailor is graduating. Mine graduated in February. The day he graduated was about 5 degrees. Cold. Now I'm from Cleveland so that's not too different from my weather at home. But for someone from the south or out west, I'm sure its a bit of a shock. What I've gathered from research and experience is: Just Look Nice. Think "Going out to dinner" attire. You haven't seen your sailor-to-be in a long time. They'll be happy to see you no matter what. And ladies, your boyfriend or husband has been around smelly men and girls who literally aren't allowed to look cute or hot even if they wanted to. So, trust me, he'll be happy to see you. You don't need to wear a fancy nice dress and high heels. You can if you wish, and you might stand out a bit in the dead of winter but by all means....Just be classy. And don't feel like you need to go out and buy a new outfit if you can't afford it. If you can, go for it! ;) If not, work with what you have, or try a thrift store.

I wore black skinny jean/pants. A black and white polka-dot long sleeved shirt with a sweater and a cute necklace. Black heeled booties. A warm coat, scarf and gloves.

If I were a guy, I would have worn khaki pants, really dark jeans or corduroys with a button down shirt or a sweater and a leather shoe/boot. Coat, hat and gloves. Maybe a sports coat or blazer depending on the weather.  Guys have it easy.

I wish I had thought to do an OOTD. I don't have a picture with my whole outfit. But you get the gist.

This worked out perfectly. Now you do have to walk a ways to the building and then wait, outside. So make sure whatever shoes you wear, are comfortable enough to walk a decent way, in whatever weather may be happening. That wasn't fun, but it doesn't last forever. Once you get inside its warmer. I wouldn't say that it's warm. They open a big garage door for the ladies and gents that are graduating to come in...from the outside. So, I was glad I had a sweater.

If it were summer.... I would have worn a maxi dress with cute sandals. Or a tasteful sundress.

If it were fall.... skinny jeans/pants or leggings (I wouldn't wear jeans unless they were really really dark, it is a ceremony), a cute top or sweater with flats or boots. Maybe a little cover up or kimono if you wear a cute top. It can be cool in the mornings but warm during the day.

If it were spring.... Totally depends on the weather, it can be warm or cold. Check the weather. I'd opt for dressing like fall or winter. Layers.

How do I get there? (my times are estimated!)
We drove because we're from Cleveland, Ohio, only 6 hours away. But for those of you who have to fly, there are a few airports within an hour- hour 1/2 of base. There's O'hare. Its only about 25 miles from base but with Chicago traffic it can easily take an hour and a half to two hours. Midway is a little further away but you can probably fly a little cheaper. It would take about An hour and half to an hour and 45 mins. Or you could fly into Milwaukee, again, it may be cheaper than O'hare and about the same travel time. Its about an hour and half to two hour drive down to Great Lakes. If you can, definitely rent a car. It will be worth it if you are staying the entire weekend. Honestly, it would probably be worth it if you aren't. Cabs can be expensive and unpredictable. When your sailor has set times he or she has to be back on base you want to be able to drive them there yourself. Look on travel websites like Priceline or Expedia for flight+rental car combos, flight+hotel+rental combos and each one individually. Compare prices to find the best deal!

How do I get to graduation?
If you can, schedule a cab or take the shuttle if your hotel offers one. Some do, some don't. We tried to use 'Sarg's' cab company but they didn't come, so we hopped in a cab with some other people at our hotel. You can always share a cab with other people. There WILL be other people, just ask if they have room. You're all trying to go to the same place anyway. You can drive, but you may have to walk, pretty far. Make sure you all have your ID's. Drivers license, passport, state ID, whatever. Just have it. For those who need it, I do believe they have handicapped accessibility. Double check if this is something that you or a family member needs.

What happens at PIR?

If you sit in front of the sign for their division I believe the division will be standing to the left. This way you can actually see their faces. PIR is a rather long ceremony.  The quick version: There's a video, They march in with their division and line up facing the audience. The special divisions play music and sing songs, Important people give speeches, They award any of the people who graduate with honors or who did particularly well in some area of their training, More speeches, some people fainted, more music, a few other things, then they call LIBERTY.  (this doesn't do it justice, it really is pretty cool)

Liberty call is what you have been waiting for the entire time. After they call liberty you can finally go see whoever it is you were there to see. Not before. At this point you run down, find your sail-to-be and give them the biggest hug in the world. Significant others, you CAN kiss him or her. Just don't make out because they absolutely will get in trouble and may not be able to see you at all for the rest of the weekend if they are staying in Great Lakes. Save it for the privacy of your hotel room. ;)

If you can, in a letter or your last phone call, ask your sailor-to-be where he or she will be standing in their division. 1. So you know where to look and take pictures and 2. So you know where they will be when liberty is called. Tell them to stay there, or meet you somewhere like against the wall behind their division. Also, tell them what you will be wearing if you know. Even if its just your jacket or a bright colored purse, so they have something to look for if they don't have time to write you back, or call.

Where Should I Stay / What Should I Bring My Sailor?
We stayed at the Navy Lodge. Its cheap and nice and a one time thing. You're allowed to stay at the Navy Lodge for PIR only. Otherwise your sailor has to be a higher rate to stay there. Some other hotels that I've stayed at in the area that are reasonable and nice are Candlewood Suites in Waukegan and Holiday Inn in Waukegan (it may say Waukegan-Gurnee). These are both about a 12-15 min drive to base on a normal day.

Now, if your sailor is going to A-School in Great Lakes he or she will be able to spend the entire weekend with you. This is ONLY if they are staying in Great Lakes. If their A-School is anywhere else, they will have to go to the airport whenever they are told they have to leave. It could be right after PIR it could be Saturday or Sunday. Typically, I've gathered you only get to spend Friday with them, if they have to travel to their A-School. But hey! Its better than nothing and you get to spend a weekend in Chicago. Maybe plan to stay downtown the night they leave. Go see a show, check out the museums or have a date night.

If you're lucky and they are staying in Great Lakes, wonderful! Your sailor still CAN"T stay the night with you no matter where you stay. They can however come to the hotel with you during the day. They WILL want to. My boyfriend (now husband) wanted to take a long shower, put on civilian clothes and just relax in the room. They can wear normal clothes as long as they are behind closed doors in the hotel and no one else sees them. Otherwise they HAVE to be in full uniform. So, if they want to buy all new things, take them shopping OR be sure to bring them some of their favorite things to wear from home. Keep in mind they may have lost or gained weight, so some things might not fit. James lost around 15-20 lbs. (He looked kind of sickly to be honest.)

I brought my husband:
-boxer briefs in any color (first thing he asked for)
-low cut socks
-a pair of jeans
-gym shorts, sweat pants/athletic pants
-a few t-shirts and a long sleeve shirt/flannel
-a hoodie and a sweater
-Converse high tops
-Homemade snacks (cookies/brownies)

I also brought his full size body wash and shampoo from home and some medicine. If your sailor is anything like mine he or she probably got the boot camp plague. James was sick as a dog. If they aren't sick when you see them, I'm sure they will be at some point. So, some Alka-Setzer Cold and a bottle of Ibuprofen will be used eventually. Other helpful things are, Tide-To-Go pens and a towel to sit on if they are in their Whites and lint rollers for Blues and those wool coats.

He or she will have somewhere to keep the clothes that you bring them. They learned how to fold things very small in boot camp. James took almost everything, give or take a thing or two, back to his ship in one backpack. And I brought a lot so he had choices. In his room he had the Ecco rack. (I think thats what they call it) This is like the "extra" loft bed. They have a smaller closet and no desk. But after about a week someone moved out and he got to move to a real rack with more storage space.

Seems like a lot but, after they wait a certain amount of time and complete a certain amount of required things, they can wear civilian clothes again. This can take a month, or 3 months. It just depends. My husband had almost everything he needed to do, done to phase up. And then they moved him to a new ship (which happens all the time) and he had to start all over.

Also..

We also brought him his cell phone and he bought a new laptop at the NEX. If you go to the NEX go to the one off base. It's much bigger. Depending on the time of year, you may want to bring him or her a thin comforter or blanket for their rack, or go to Wal-Mart/Target and have them pick one out. They can have them, at least my husband could. He just had to put it away every day. The two I linked are two that my husband and his rack mate both had in the full/queen size. (I personally love the blanket from target. I stole it.) Just be mindful of fuzzes, they have to keep their rooms immaculate so a shedding blanket is a no-no. There's a Wal-Mart in Waukegan and in Gurnee; there is also a Target in Gurnee.

What is there to do?
I wish we would have known where to go and what was around when my husband graduated. First and foremost. You want to ask your sailor what THEY want to do. They just spent 2 months being told what to do. They may not want to do anything but relax. Maybe get some sodas, popcorn and  rent a red box movie. Bring a TV hook up for the laptop if the hotel doesn't have dvd players or just watch it on the laptop. After they relax, they will want to eat real food. Order take out and keep relaxing or, go out. There is nothing in Great Lakes. I would recommend going to Gurnee or Libertyville. Gurnee has a giant mall: Gurnee Mills with 2 food courts and a lot of restaurants around or just up the road from the mall. Off the top of my head, theres a Joe's Crab Shack, Outback, Red Lobster, Toshi Sushi (all you can eat for $20, may only be for dinner so check the website) Libertyville has a cute little "downtown" with some nice restaurants and a brewery: Mickey Finn's. They can't drink but its a nice atmosphere if that's what they were used too before boot camp. Just look up the areas on google maps or on your phone so you don't waste time trying to find places.

You can also go downtown if they feel up for it. If you do, take the Metra. There's a stop in Great Lakes. Make sure you have change to pay for parking (its one of those ticket machines) and cash for your train ticket. Its around $7 to ride (you can pay on the train) and on the weekends you get a weekend pass good Fri-Sun. Your sailor may even ride for free. There are tons of museums (my husband gets in for free with his Military ID and so do I with my spouse ID), the navy pier, millennium park, Michigan ave. (shopping :]) Just make sure you check the train times and give yourselves MORE than enough time to get your sailor back to base with enough time to get to his or her ship. The only train that takes you back is Union Pacific North (UP-N). They absolutely can not be late. It would be wise to  make sure you can get back in time even if you miss the train you plan on taking. We planned for him to be back in his ship 30 mins before he actually had to be there. So lets say he had to be back in his ship and checked in at 8pm we had him back and he was in his ship and checked in at 7:30. Take into account you may have to wait in line to get him back on base. He or she may also have up to a 30 min. walk back to their barracks. Budget your time accordingly!

Leaving stinks, but remember things like Skype and FaceTime. They make the long distance a little more bearable. And they beat the hell out of waiting for letters once a week.

If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. I'll answer to the best of my ability or guide you to a source that has the answer if I don't. :)

--->PIR on a budget? Here I share some ideas on how to save money and still have a special PIR weekend.

Chicken Sloppy Joe - Crock Pot

I love finding recipes for my crock pot. And these chicken sloppy joe's are SO good and so incredibly easy LITERALLY anyone with a crock pot can do it. Not to mention they're half the fat of a normal sloppy joe, which always makes me happy.

                                                                                                   *not my image

Ingredients: 

Yield: 5-8 servings (depending on who's eating) 

3-4 medium sized chicken breasts (I use the ones from Costco, that come in packs of 12)

1/2-1 whole small white onion

1-2 bell peppers (any color)

1 can Manwich Sloppy Joe

Hamburger Buns

1.) Chop up the onions and the peppers ( I cut mine smaller but its totally your preference) 

2.) Put half of the onions and peppers in the crock pot

3.) Add the chicken to the crock pot

4.) Add the rest of the onions and peppers on top of the chicken

heres the hard part ;)

5.) Pour in the sloppy joe sauce

Cook on low for 6-8 hours or whenever you get home from work if its longer than that...

6.) With 2 forks pull the chicken apart. You can do this in the crock pot or on a cutting board but I usually just keep it in the pot. ( I don't like dirtying extra dishes)

7.) Put the chicken on a bun, maybe add a little extra sauce from the crock pot and enjoy

AND you're done.

It requires almost no effort and all you need to do is make a veggie and you have yourself a meal for the family. I use 3 chicken breasts and it feeds my husband (who eats 2 or 3) and myself. We also have left overs for him to take for lunch the next day.

*Works great as a freezer meal. Prepare it all on the weekend and toss it in a freezer bag or 2 if you know you have a busy week. One morning just empty it all into the crock pot and you're done. I've never had a problem with cooking frozen chicken in my crock pot.

*The chicken is also really good on rice or in a tortilla or even open faced on a piece of wheat toast if you don't have buns at home. 

Nom Nom Nom