Planning a Wedding While One Of You Is In The Military - Navy Edition

Been there, done that! Getting married is one thing. Planning a wedding is a whole nother thing! Normal couples get engaged, plan a wedding for the future, take their time and make sure everything is just right! Its your wedding day, its supposed to be perfect right?

In theory, yes. In reality, not quite.

Now its stressful enough for a normal couple. But for us military folk.....throw in a few years of schooling in a few different states, a deployment or two, not knowing if you can take leave and anything else they might decide to throw at you because after all, you are at their mercy. And that perfect wedding becomes MUCH less attainable. 

We eloped while my husband was in A-School. You can read about that HERE. At that point we had no idea if and/or when we may be able to have a ceremony. We didn't want to plan something and hope he could come home so we just waited to play it by ear. A few months went by and he found out he would graduate just in time to be able to come home for holiday stand down before his next duty station. SO he put in for leave and I started planning. We had about 3 months. Mind you, we didn't know if he leave would actually get approved, there was no reason it shouldn't, but I had to keep that in mind. 

Plan For The Worst:
Make sure when reserving a venue, that they have a military clause or a refund, or at least be able to reschedule. You really never know what can happen. Our venue was so flexible and VERY military friendly. They understood completely that plans can change at the drop of a dime. There was a navy wedding the weekend before ours. The woman from the venue said, the husband graduated from school and was supposed to come home on leave for his wedding but found out he was getting sent out on a deployment instead. Needless to say they had to postpone the wedding and pushed it back an entire year. So, yes, anything can happen.

Ask for a military discount!

Be Flexible:

Now, I was never one of those girls who dreamed about my wedding day. Which I always thought at some point might put me at a disadvantage but it turned out working in my favor. I didn't have any crazy ideas or expectations that I "needed" to have at my wedding. I mean I had "ideas" but nothing was set in stone. If I had it my way, we would have had a simple, small, CASUAL, outdoor wedding/pig roast. With craft beer, home made wine, a live band, volleyball, corn hole and other fun outdoor activities. Okay....so maybe I DID have an idea of what I wanted. haha But lets be honest here. We are from Cleveland, Ohio, we had 3 months before getting new orders which put us at the end of November for the wedding. That outdoor wedding was impossible. So I had to scrap the whole idea and 'want' something else. My small outdoor wedding turned into a not small at all indoor wedding.

Shop Around For Dresses:

I know you probably have your heart set on a certain dress or style of dress but shop around. Try on things that you don't think you'll like.

I wanted a flowy lace dress, found it and stopped trying things on. Went back a few weeks later to buy it after looking around at other places trying to find good prices. And ended up buying a completely different dress and it was on clearance! I didn't even want to try it on. It looks horrible on the rack. But once I got into it, it fit like a glove! I didn't want to take it off.

Be Creative:

Don't do things a certain way just because thats how it's "supposed" to be. Thats all pretty much shot to hell at this point anyway if you're throwing together a wedding in a few months. Some of the best weddings I've been to have been the simple, elegant, laid back ones. 

Pinterest is your best friend! Thanks to all of the wonderful people who post things. People like "us" can throw things together in a relatively short time frame while spending very little money! Then we reciprocate by posting what we did! See how that works?! Try to think of unique ways to save money and still achieve the look/vibe/ambiance that you're looking for. 

Look for seasonal decorations that you can find in nature! Berries, evergreen, wood, leaves, sand, shells, rocks, ferns. I mean the options are really endless. The cost is minimal to you and it looks so good. We used cranberries in our center pieces instead of flowers and saved HUNDREDS of dollars on flowers, probably thousands. My mom's friend, the harp player, also makes wine so she and her husband made us cranberry wine with all of the cranberries after the wedding! Nothing went to waste! :)

Try to find other things that match your "colors" besides store bought flowers. We used pomegranates and apples. They're large enough to take up negative space while providing depth and color. Same with flower peddles that may have fallen off. Keep them and use them! 

My mom made favor bags for us with truffles we bought in bulk from Costco and bags we ordered online. We just printed out stickers and slapped them on the front. My mom added the bow's as a finishing touch.

I popped TONSSS of popcorn the day before and we had a popcorn bar with different seasonings after dinner. I loved this! Probably because I have a sick obsession with home popped popcorn. I did two batches at a time on the stove in 2 big pans for many hours..... haha Its a healthy gluten free snack. 

The Dollar Store, Amazon and Costco/Sams Club Are Your Friends:

All of the tea light candles, the votives we put them in, the vases we used as center pieces, it all came from the dollar store and amazon. We use some of them around the house and you might even be able to sell some of it when you're done. Especially if you know someone else who is getting married or having a party. Ask around, you never know!

All of our plates came from Costco. It wasn't eco friendly but it saved us the money of having to rent the plates from the venue or caterer. 

FLOWERS:

Flowers will make or break you! Yes they're beautiful, they're also expensive! BUT we spent less that $175  on ALL of the flowers for the entire wedding! By not using flowers as center pieces we saved a ton. For the brides maids we used dried hydrangea's from the tree's in front of my parents' house. We got the rest of the flowers at a wholesale flower warehouse...thing. I don't know how else to describe it. My mom and her friend Deb, the harp player. Went really early in the morning on a Saturday. I think they're only open on saturday mornings? But they went, checked off what they wanted, waited in line and they got the flowers. They got a couple dozen red roses with greenery and babies breath and a bouquet of mixed roses. They also got some white lilies with greenery and a few other mixed bouquets. Between those three they put together my bouquet, the boutonnières, and about 3 or 4 extra arrangements to be used as decor wherever needed. 

Be Kind To Your Wedding Party:

If you've been in a wedding (I know I have) you know how ridiculous buying brides maids dresses, tuxes, matching shoes and accessories can be. It gets expensive and not everyone looks good in that bright purple, strapless dress that the bride loves. Chances are they'll have very little notice that they will be in your wedding.

I told my bridesmaids to go buy a tasteful black dress and wear black heels. Gave them a few examples and sent them on their way. If they were going to buy something, I wanted them to at least be able to use it again. 

Groomsmen had it really easy. Wear a grey suit, which most 20 something men should have for job interviews and things of that nature. If they don't they can get a very reasonably priced one. We got the ties so they all matched. I believe I ordered 7 of them online for $42 including shipping. 

Use Your Networks!

Make sure you ask around! You may know people who can help you out immensely, and not even realize it. Venues can be expensive so ask around and think outside the box! 

My mom's friend plays the harp and played for our ceremony. She also has a sister-in-law who is a wedding planner and let us use some of her "wedding stuff" for free! You may know a baker, caterer, or someone who has a meat smoker. (I'm still going on about this pig roast. I REALLY want someone to have a pig roast! haha) I knew a girl from college who is a wonderful photographer. We were never close "friends" more of aquantences. Friends of friends. But I needed a photographer and I loved her work so I reached out. And she is a GEM! The sweetest person and I will keep in touch with her for probably the rest of the foreseeable future. And her photos are incredible! Kayla Coleman Photography. Look her up.

Figure Out What's REALLY Important:

Don't go spending money on all of these things that frankly, don't really matter. Keep it simple and spend your money wisely. Unless you have unlimited funds, then, by all means have at it. But, here in real life, we have budgets. Decide where to spend the money that you have. 

• Do you want a 5-star caterer or a pig roast? (there I go again with the pig)
• $2000 dress or $200 dress? Get lucky enough to find a thrift shop dress? I tried but failed.
• Do you want an expensive venue, or does a friend/family member have a barn, a winery, pond or just a nice house or yard? Maybe there a nearby park? 
• Wedding planner or DIY? 
• Buying decorations or making them? 
• Do you know a photographer or want to look for one to hire?
• Do you want alcohol? What kind? 
• DJ or do you have a friend in a band? (I wanted live music so badly but we just didn't have time)
• Real plates and silver wear or plastic? (We used plastic, it looked real and we tossed it at the end of the night. Got it all at Costco.)

This is my best advice! If you think everything else I say is bullshit at least take this into consideration! If you spend the money anywhere, get a good photographer. And I don't mean an expensive photographer, because you can find some pretty crappy ones that still charge $1,500-$2,000. You can also fine some amazing ones that charge the same or less. Just look around and look at their work. You have to look at those pictures for the rest of your life. 

Have a Sense of Humor and Don't Be a DRAMA Queen:

Things WILL go wrong. Things won't look how you want. People will misconstrue what you're saying. People won't listen to you. People will completely disregard your wishes. GET OVER IT! 

For example: 

• We asked all the grooms men to wear grey suits, and 3 of them went out and rented almost the exact same black tux's when we specifically told them not to. Leaving my husband and my brother sticking out like a sore thumb. But it is what it is. 

• I asked all the brides maids wearing different dresses so they could wear what looked best for their own bodies and no one would stand out. 2 of them bought the same dress . Again, it is, what it is.

• Some people wanted to do everything (sometimes too much) and others wanted nothing to do with anything yet complained about not being involved.

But I don't even notice or care about these things now! ....Well actually I do notice some of them just because of the pictures, but it doesn't bother me any more! haha I'm just happy we had a wedding! Thats the way the universe works!

Its hard to step back and take people telling you what to do, or asking for your opinion and then shoot it down. After all its YOUR wedding, right? Just try to bite your tongue. Be gracious of the people who are trying to help and don't be resentful of the people who try to make things difficult and haven't wanted to help at all. I had a hard time with this, but in the end it was fine. Nothing was ruined and at the end of the day you have to remember that the world will still spin even if something doesn't turn out exactly how you want it to. Its just one day. And remember there are much more important things happening in the world, than your wedding. And frankly if you're anything like us, you're lucky to have even had the opportunity to have a real wedding with friends and family. So try to have some grace. 

Pet Gift Box February 2015 : Cat ^. .^

>>PetGiftBox<<
(I'm a link)

February Cat PetGiftBox

So I caved. I finally decided to sign up for monthly pet subscriptions. However, I did my research first. There are SO many different subscriptions to choose from in all different price ranges. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE my dog and my cat. But, spending $30-$40 on each of them every month just to get a box of toys/treats in the mail, that will ultimately get destroyed, is out of the question. I mean really? Which lead me to PetGiftBox. I subscribed for both the dog and the cat....still waiting on the dog box.....

PRO'S:

• It's much cheaper at $17.99 a month per pet. 

• You pay for it monthly. So, you don't have to buy 3, 6 or 12 months up front. So I thought "what the hell, I'll give one month a try". 

• you can cancel or postpone at any point. Which is true. We are moving next month so I postponed my next shipment until april, no hassle, no problems. I also don't plan on getting the cat box every month. He just doesn't need that many toys.

CON

• The only thing that I am unhappy about is that we are still waiting for the dog's PetGiftBox to come. I have a happy cat and a sad dog. I'm sure it will come eventually.

• Shipping is a little hard to track ours went from USPS to DHL back to USPS but I'm pretty sure that depends on where you live. But I'm not quite sure where our dog's box is....we'll see.

UPDATE: FINN'S DOG BOX CAME! TAKE A LOOK! HERE

Here is what was in the  February Cat PetGiftBox: Everything is "Spot" brand except for the bowl.

:)

#1. Spot Refillable Catnip Insect. This is Tuckers favorite. He's a kitty stoner.

#2. Spot Rainbow Mice Catnip Toys with crazy tails. Nine super cute little mice.

We actually needed a new bowl. Score!

#3. Bella Bowls - Stainless steel food or water dish. With little hearts on it for Valentines Day.  This had some glue/adhesive residue on the inside from the label but I was able to get most of it off.

#4. Spot Feline Harvest Grain Free Cat Treats - Dental Treats. I personally love these. My cat eats a grain free diet due to a sensitive stomach so having grain free treats is awesome!

Update: he LOVES them!

#5. Spot Feather Boa Wand. Looks like a little feathery bird-like creature. These never last too long with Tucker, but they're fun while they do!

So, what do you think? I think the contents are well worth the $17.99. As far as quality goes. Who am I kidding? Call me a bad furbaby mom but, I buy the cheapest toys when I go to the pet store. My cat would play with a ping pong ball and a tampon (unused!!) for days if I let him! So, to me, these are perfectly fine. No, complaints. I would say that one Cat PetGiftBox is plenty for 2 adult cats. Its more than enough for Tucker for the time being. We will probably be getting Tucker a box every other month. If you are interested in ordering a dog or cat PetGiftBox click HERE. 

Now....Where the heck is Finn's box????

"WTF mom..."

I'll post what's in his box as soon as we get it.....

Navy PIR: Boot Camp Graduation ON A BUDGET

PIR Weekend On a Budget

If you check my blog post NAVY PIR FOR DUMMIES: BOOT CAMP GRADUATION. I tell you about PIR.. What to wear, where to stay, things to do. But what if you're on a budget? Who isn't, right?! So, how can you save money while still making the weekend special for your loved one who is graduating? There are plenty of ways!

First and foremost, calling off work can be hard. If you have a job that allows you to work early/late, pick up or switch shifts, try to arrange accordingly so you aren't losing a substantial amount of money. You can also go through your house and clear out some old things that you don't really use any more. Have a garage sale or sell it on Ebay or Craigslist. Whatever you can't sell just donate. It will feel great getting rid of stuff that was previously just taking up space. It may only be a couple bucks but it can still go towards your trip.

Of course some expenses are unavoidable like travel and the hotel. Make sure you look for good deals. PLAN AHEAD! PLAN AHEAD! PLAN AHEAD! Flights are always cheaper when booked in advance! If you type in where you're flying from, and where you're flying to into google it will give you a list of flights from different airlines, you can pick your dates. I've found the cheapest ones here. 

Example: "Cleveland, Oh to San Diego Ca flights" 

The hotels around Great Lakes fill up fast. I've tried booking a week in advance and that has been to late. All the cheap hotels go first and you're left with the $250-$300 a night ones. (Thats 1/3 of my rent!) They also hike up their prices on the weekends. The navy lodge is definitely reasonable if they have rooms available. I think my total bill from the Navy Lodge for PIR weekend was somewhere in the low $300's. Another thing to keep in mind is to spend the extra money to get a refundable or exchangeable hotel room if your hotel offers it! The navy is unpredictable. You never know what can happen. God forbid your soon-to-be-sailor doesn't pass Battle Stations or they get set back for being sick or hurt. Losing a few hundred dollars because plans changed is horrible. I know from experience. A month or two after PIR, I had plans to go see my husband. It turned out that he ended up losing liberty that weekend because someone royally screwed up. So, I couldn't go see him. Another time he didn't do well on a test and lost liberty. Needless to say, Id rather lose $25-$50 to ensure I can change my travel date, than lose $350+.

*Ask for Military discounts! Whether you're at the mall or out to breakfast. It can't hurt! The worst they can say is "no".

FOOD!
Going out to eat for 3-4 days, for every meal can break your bank account. Try to find a hotel with a kitchenette! I know for sure, The Navy Lodge and Candlewood Suites in Waukegan both have little kitchens in each room! Candlewood even has a grill outside with a picnic table. You have a fridge, a stove, toaster, sink and a microwave. They provide plates, cups, mugs, flatware and cooking necessities. Or you can pick up paper and plastic. This can save you a TON of money. When you arrive, you can go to Wal-mart (right next to Candlewood Suites) and buy food for the weekend. OR wait until you can see your sailor and have them go to the Commissary with you. Its tax free. The food isn't always a whole lot cheaper. However, produce can be better quality. Sometimes. Other times it's picked over.

By cooking in your room you can spend around $50 to eat and drink for the entire weekend if you shop smart. That beats spending $50 to eat out for just one night. Not to mention your sailor will probably love a home cooked meal from mom/dad, grandma/grandpa or the husband/wife. Granted, theres no oven. But you can still make a lot of wonderful dishes. Pasta, BLT's, tacos and rice, chicken and stuffing, stir fry, veggies,  burgers, fish, mashed potatoes, eggs bacon and pancakes. I mean, the options are endless. Here are some stovetop recipes from food.com. Below is an incredibly easy recipe for those looking for something very quick and cheap. I make this when I don't feel like cooking because it takes less than 10 mins. Add a small salad and a side of green beans or corn on the cob and you have yourself a meal.

Mushroom Burgers
If you like cream of mushroom soup.... this is EASY, cheap, quick and my husband loves it.
It takes less than 10 mins to prep and cook and it really is good.
-Brown some lean ground beef you can add chopped up onions and fresh mushrooms if you choose
-Add anywhere between half and the whole can of Campbell's Low Fat Cream of Mushroom soup depending on how much ground beef you're using
-Add a 1/4 to 1/2 a can of skim milk (or any other kind of milk) to mix in with the soup and beef
It should be like sloppy joe consistency. Chunky beef and the soup provides a sauce. If you find it to be too soupy, just let it simmer and it will cook down. Make sure you stir it so it doesn't burn.

Serve on wheat toast, hamburger buns, egg noodles or just eat it plain.

Another way to save money on food is to buy things to pack in a lunch. Some turkey and cheese from the deli, PB & J, pitas, some fruit, a few snacks and some bottled waters or sodas. Throw it all in a back pack, take the Metra downtown and have lunch at Millennium or Grant Park. (weather permitting) Or, you can take the Metra or drive to Ravinia (about 35-40 mins) and go to the Botanic Gardens (free parking with their military ID and free admission, all the time for everyone) and have your little picnic there. Again, weather permitting. Even if you choose to go out to eat, buying snacks at the store, is significantly cheaper than buying them downtown, or at the train station. You can buy a case of 12 sodas for $3.00-$4.00 or a 22oz bottle for $3.50....I'd go for 12 cans.

In the winer its a little harder, because you can't really eat a packed lunch outside. I mean, you can if you're an Eskimo...but, I don't recommend it. If you opt to go out to eat for lunch or a celebratory dinner. USE GROUPON! I'll say it again. USE GROUPON! or any other "coupon" website. You can find some incredible deals. Whole meals with an appetizer, sometimes including a drink for 2 or 4 people for $20-$40 (ish). Look locally or downtown. Especially if you're already in the city and planning to eat out anyway. Use your smartphone. Why spend more than you have to? Just make sure it isn't too far away.

ALCOHOL/DESSERT
For those of you who drink (even though your sailor can't), don't go out for drinks. And don't get a beer or glass of wine at the restaurant. Unless of course its included in your Groupon coupon. ;) Those $3.00-$10.00 beers/martinis/glasses of wine add up. And they add up quick. Opt for getting a bottle of wine or a case of beer at the grocery store. Maybe some hot chocolate and some yummy desert (some small cakes, brownies, donuts or ice cream) and have it at the hotel. .Just make sure you get something non-alcoholic for your sailor, the kids and whoever is driving your sailor back to base!  This would be a great time to sit down and talk. Something you haven't had a chance to do in a while. Or better yet, make cookies/brownies/your sailors favorite treat at home and bring them in tuperware containers. Those sort of things travel well.

THINGS TO DO
When I went to Great Lakes for PIR it was February and below zero wind chills. Needless to say we had to stay inside. But If the weather is nice, there are a ton of cheap or even free things to do. And, there are things to do even if its cold and snowy.

-Botanic Garden
This is one of my favorite places! As I mentioned, the Botanic Garden is free to everyone and its beautiful. If you take the Metra, its a little over a mile walk from the Ravinia Metra stop to the garden. Its not a bad walk if the weather is nice, some of the houses on the way are beautiful. Or, you can call a cab. Personally, if you're just going to the garden and not planning on going downtown, I would say just drive if you have a car. I doubt your sailor will want to walk in their dress whites or blues or peanut butters. Those shoes aren't terribly comfy. And when you drive, you don't have to worry about train times. 

 

-Going Downtown
Another thing that is cheap which I also previously mentioned is taking the Metra downtown. Its around $7.00 per ticket and I've seen sailors in uniform ride for free. The ride takes little over an hour and drops you off in the center of downtown at Oglive Transportation Center. I'd say most things are within a two mile radius. Definitely walkable if you like to walk. You can take a cab. Or there are other train lines but that can get confusing if you aren't familiar. If you choose to take a cab, flag one down. OR if you or someone you know is cell phone savvy, download the app UBER. This app shows you UBER drivers that are close to you. You pick your driver and they come get you. Its cheaper and relatively quick. You pay through the app too. You can drive downtown if you really want to, but Chicago traffic is horrible. It will take about 1 1/2 to 2 hours to get downtown and find a place to park. Parking can run $50 upwards on the weekends. And with how unpredictable traffic is, I would be concerned about getting my sailor back to base on time. I've sat in weekend traffic coming out of the city for over an hour and hardly moved a few yards. The Metra is cheaper, more convenient and literally drops you off outside of base.

-Millenium Park / Grant Park
Parks are free. If you're lucky there may even be a festival of some kind going on. If there is, admission is either free or cheap. They have art festivals, food festivals, jazz/blues/music festivals. thats always fun. Oh yeah, and go see the bean!

-Navy Pier
Free to get in. Inside its like a little mall. The pier is pretty and a nice place to walk around. Sometimes they have different events going on. Check the website. 

-Michigan Ave
Shopping. Shopping. Shopping.  The "magnificent mile". Even if you don't want to shop, there are a lot of really cool stores that are worth a look. Its always fun to walk around and look at things that you'll never actually buy. Guys, there's a huge Nike store! You'll want to check it out.

-Museums (Adler Planetarium, Shedd Aquarium, Field Museum, Art Museum )
I believe almost all of them are free for anyone with a Military or Military Spouse ID. Otherwise admission can be a little expensive, but you absolutely can spend all day on some of the museums. SO, it evens out. Check reviews of museums and see if there are any that you would be interested in. The Planetarium, Aquarium and Field Museums are all right by each other. The Art Museum is little ways north on S Michigan Ave.

-The Waterfront
Right next to Grant park is Lake Michigan. All along the shore is paved and makes for a beautiful walk. You can walk all the way to the Museums if you want to. Its beautiful.

Gurnee Mills Mall
You can go to the mall. Window shopping is free and your sailor may want to pick up a few things with their boot camp pay check. Gurnee Mills is HUGE. I've gone there many times just to walk around and look at stuff. 

Movies
You can go see a movie, but the movies aren't really cheap, especially if you get snacks....If you do want to go to the movies there is a theater in Gurnee. You can channel your inner high school rebel days and sneak your own candy in your purse. ;) I've known "people" to sneak all sorts of things from gummy worms to taco bell....I have no shame. lol I'll leave that up to your own judgement. haha. You CAN however rent a movie from red box or NetFlix if you have it and watch it in your hotel room. If you aren't feeling so daring. If your sailor is a movie buff, there very well might be a movie that came out while they were in boot camp that they never had a chance to see. 

Bring Games/Cards
When the weather is yucky and none of you really want to go out. You may want to just stay in and play a game.

However controversial, Cards Against Humanity is HILARIOUS and can be a very fun time. Granted, playing it with your family can be embarrassing, awkward and downright wrong. But, that makes it even more hilarious. Keep in mind this is not a game for anyone under the age of 17 ish. (give or take a year or two depending on maturity levels) It has crude, rude and horrible yet hilarious humor. Not for the faint hearted, overly sensitive or easily offended. That being said, I've played it with people's parents and grandparents and I was in tears because I was laughing so hard. The game runs about $25 on amazon. And is worth every penny. It's also a great game to pull out if you have people over coming over your house....depending on the people.

For the less adventurous, the people who have small children or if you just don't want to play embarrassing games with your family. A deck of cards can provide almost as much fun. Some hotels even have board games at the front desk.

LADIES (random!!!)
Don't forget your birth control! Don't forget your birth control! Don't forget your birth control!
When traveling this is literally the one thing you CAN NOT forget besides your ID. Whether you use hormonal birth control or condoms (I recommend both!) you don't want to forget them! Particularly if you're on the pill. Even if you don't plan on "getting busy". If you forget your pills, it will ruin your entire weekend. 1. If you don't take your pill, you'll get your period and who wants to get their period when they aren't supposed to? Nobody, ever. and 2. For obvious reasons. We're talking about saving money and getting pregnant isn't cheap. Defiantly not in the budget. Also if you're on the pill keep in mind the time change. Depending on your pill, an hour or two may or may not make much of a difference. But, its better to be safe than sorry. Or better yet, better to be safe, than pregnant!